This past Saturday was spent with Mike, Jamie and Jane at Wachusett, a local mountain relatively close to Boston. It snowed the entire day, trailing off to beautiful conditions during the last two hours of boarding (not that the earlier part of the day was bad at all).

I wonder if the experience at non-East Coast based mountains is similar to our time at Wachusett. So much snow was coming down, you barely saw any ice patches, the snow was so soft and deep it actually took more effort to carve since the edges kept sinking into the pow. With the ground covered with soft deep snow, everyone was a bit reckless. Jamie managed to have five+ spectacular wipe outs in under a minute, and nearby, Jane managed to wipe out hard enough to have her boot unbuckle from the binding. But it was all good because the snow was that deep. I mean, how could we POSSIBLY get hurt? Well read on true believer!

There are a number of excursions to the side of the trails where snowboarders or skiers can dip down into, pass a couple of trees and emerge on the other end, usually a decent-sized hit back onto the trail. On a particular blue trail we frequented, there must have been about five of these side excursions. On one of them near the halfway point of the trail, the ground was pretty bare, full of thinly covered large rocks next to two pipes that were running along the trail. After my first four unsuccessful attempts traversing without a) scratching the board, b) falling on the rocks, I voiced my concern to Mike who apparently didn't hear me and proceeded to coerce me to enter the trail.

(Warning: Graphic Description) This time my fears were realized when I hit an extruding rock which caused the board to go out from under me. I must have landed on or near the crack of my ass and proceeded to bounce on that region a few times. That hurt. A lot. However, the worst part was that somehow, the friction held back my right cheek, while my momentum carried my body further down the trail. In effect, for a short time, my ass cheeks were spread apart revealing the walls of my anal canal which served as tires in slowing my body down. Think of a plane coming in for a landing, the walls of my anal canal as the tires. Whenever a plane comes down, it bounces a few times before landing and braking to a halt. That was exactly what happened to me. A few bounces on the tailbone, causing some intense pain and some sliding on the innerwall, a very weird feeling, for good measure. Thanks Mike.

Update: Please read the comments for Jane's awesomely similar snowboard/buttcheek experience. Damnit, it feels like someone kicks my ass/tailbone every time I sneeze now.


At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

man oh man, just thinking of that fall makes me tear...aaaaaahahahaha!!! (excellent description- you should consult with jane and compare your ass spreading falls. woot!) i nominate that the "best" fall of the season!

At 5:44 PM, Blogger junetic said...

damn you all. i went to mt creek with ice and slush. plus i got my board stolen. thanks for going without me!!! ass-spreaders!!!...hahahah

At 12:32 AM, Blogger dJsLiM said...

ouch... I mean... OUCH!!!

At 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

jamie-you mean the BEST season is the FALL. (was that cheeze?) anyhoo- mine was more of that the airplane tire didn't come out to catch my landing. The door opened but the tire musta been stuck cuz the automatic door started to malfunction. It just kept opening and closing and opening and closing thinking the tire was gonna come out, but no no.. no tire just injury to the body.


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