For those of you attending the C-Spot Drive Party, I'm changed my appointment to Sunday May 9th at 11am instead of Saturday. Just letting you all know in case you were expecting a ride from me.
Gar (one of Jake's residents) showed me this site, Psycho Trainers, yesterday. The motivation section reminded me of some of the things my defensive football coach used to say to us. Now imagine a 6' 4" 75 year old man with a bum leg walking around with a cane saying this stuff, it was hilarious. Funny enough for me to bring a pad and pencil out to practices to record them. Here is a list:
"God, use your head for something besides keeping your ears apart."
"Teaching you guys is like teaching the tree over there, you guys are a bunch of stones."
"Take a shit or get off the pot."
"If you were blocking for shit, you wouldn't get any smell."
"You're a bunch of bullshit merchants."
"If bullshit were music, you'd have a brass band."
"You look like the southern end of a north bound skunk."
"You run like you have a strawberry up your ass, and you're afraid to crush it."
"Our tackles run like they got lead up their ass."
"Might as well point the linemen's ass towards the line of scrimmage, since they spend so much time in the backfield."
"You guys couldn't beat the sisters of the poor."
"There must be a lot of half-toilet seats in this town, cuz there's so many half ass players on this team."
"You guys went through there, like shit through a tin horn."
"Do u know what burns my ass? A flame about this high."
"You guys make my ass bleed."
"You couldn't knock a sick whore off a piss pot."
"You couldn't fake out a pregnant cow on ice."
"You couldn't hit a bull's ass with a hand full of rice."
"You couldn't cover shit with a shovel."
"You have about as much pressure as a popcorn fart."
"Do you have diarrhea of the mouth?"
"Why don't you two go into the woods and play with yourselves."
"I'm going to nail your penis to a stump and push you over backwards."
"Your stance looks like an old lady squatting to take a piss."
"Joe, if your mother has anymore kids tell her to flush them down the commode."
"Joe, you must be going to night school, because you can't get that stupid just going during the day."
"God, i'm getting as dumb as Joe Leone."
"Hsu, if you block a kick with your groin, I'll rub it for you."
"Hey Pete, you're kinda bow legged there, you'd have a hell of a time trying to catch a pig in an alley."
"Hey Brandon, did you take stupid pills for breakfast this morning."
"Moon! Better sell your soul to god, cuz your ass is mine!"
"Spies! Watch out for the squirrels, they like to collect nuts, I gotta fend them off everytime."
"Mike, why don't you fart to relieve some pressure from your brain?"
"Spiro, if u drink some tomato juice, you'd be a thermometer."
"I love you, and I ain't a queer."
Coach, can i go to Paul? My knuckles hurt. "Here let me urinate on it, that'll make it all better. I got magic piss Wojtas, magic piss."
Last but not least, I found out today that BMX bicycle racing will be in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing!